Damn it, i am the loser.

I know i shouldnt care but i fail.
Its not that I am still into him, no i am not.
I feel bad coz i never think a man whom i ve been four yrs could have done n talked all this to me.
Okay i understood there is no love then i am juz nobody.
However, would you respect and be polite to me, as a friend?

He changed a lot. he had done sthg i guess even he himself never think he would do.
okay, i dont mind. Done is done plus it happened after we split.
Or I would say my love could forgive anything. Love for friendship, relationship n family.
For me, i respect honesty.
If you tell me straight in advanced, i would juz forgive n accept. I know its stupid somehow.
if you lie, then no, you will be eliminated.
I m not quite sure wat kinda love/ caring it is. All i know its 100% true and from the bottom of my heart.

I treat him like a very very close good friend.
Advices are all for his own good. Its not that i m doing it on revenge or for jealousy.
Saying i am a trouble maker, denying how worse it could be, smashing my dignity into pieces, pinpointing me this n that...
It hurts me.

A fd said I should learn to treat me myself better, not that to any others.
Saying I dont need to worry, concern, analyze or help abt their problems/situations coz I am not their angels. Its not my job at all.
Why is everybody telling me not to treat people good?
Don't you see/ think human being is ugly enough today?


I wanna cry. Whose shoulders I can cry on?
I never think I would need to cry under this circumstance.
Damn it, i am the loser.